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Posts Tagged ‘dharma talk’

I am shivering in the cold.

May I open your skin, crawl inside, wrap you around my body like a warm blanket?

I can hear the content in your voice, the Happiness.

It sickens me.

whywhywhywhywhywhywhy

Why did you not choose me?

I am happy. For you.

Fly away.

Last night I listened to Ajahn Brahm’s dharma talk on Love. He said, most times when people think they love someone, they actually love the way that person makes them feel. He gave this little example. If you truly loved your partner and s/heĀ  runs away with the milkman, you should be very happy. I mean, isnt’ that love? That you want them to be happy? Well, now they are happy! Instead, you would probably not be happy at all. Why is that? Because you want them to be with you. But what if being with the milkman is what makes them happy? I thought, well, I’m not angry that S has chosen someone else. So, I’m okay. I truly do love S. Then it occured to me that I may not be angry but I sure am deeply sad. And why should that be? Isn’t it because I wanted him to choose me? Instead he chose someone else. If I truly love him, then I should be happy. I look within. I am happy that he is happy. I am also sad. I suppose I truly love him and also love the way I feel when he was around me.

Now, the possibility is gone.


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I am sure it was synchronicity. A while back, Ajahn Brahm visited my city and I went to the dharma center to hear him talk. It was profound, yet simple. I stayed on past midnight, along with a few others, drinking in Ajahn’s words. This man, this monk – I feel pulled toward him into his field. I listen to his dharma talks online, I look to see where in the world he is and if by chance I may get to see him again. Some old karma of ours pulls me toward him. I feel in him a connection as though he’s my true teacher in this life.

(Ajahn Brahm is the abbott of a monastery in Australia. More information here http://www.bswa.org )

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