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Archive for September, 2014

For a star to be born,
there is one thing that
must happen: a gaseous
nebula must collapse.

So collapse.
Crumble.
This is not your
destruction.

This is your birth.

(Written by Noor Tagouri)

——————————————————–

I am collapsing and crumbling in all sorts of ways lately. Despair and angst and anger and depression have taken over most of my waking hours. But I am still holding on to the belief that this is all leading to a new birth, just as this poem says.

I moved to a new place by myself, separated from my husband. I knew this wouldn’t solve all my problems, but living together had become toxic for us both. If I narrow it down to the basics, not have my husband to blame, how do I live my life? What do I do with it? This is what I want to see.

The beginning was wonderful. I was optimistic, happy, ready to start this new chapter. But now, inertia and procrastination have taken over.

I am not ready to end this life though. This is my karma, and I am ready to face it.

Not. My. Destruction.

A. New. Birth.

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A return to writing

I want to write again. To journal again. Vent out my random musings, thoughts, ideas, attempts at poetry and other such nonsense.

One thing depression is good for: a burst of creativity.

At least, that’s how my depressions begin. Sleepless nights, anger, despair, and a desire to be more active.

 

It’s madness, this life, this chaotic life.

 

Has anyone ever learned to stop wanting approval from their parents? To love and to not seek love in return? This is my current struggle.

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