Archive for March, 2008

the void from a friendship

Today I miss that friend of mine who has moved back to India after being here for 15 years. She was a confidante, a partner in crime, a soul sister, a true friend. Friendships can be a tricky thing; many who call each other “friends” seem to be acquaintances at best. She is a rare gem though. Unconditional acceptance comes to her easily, I have learned from her, she’s not perfect, but lives a true life. You’re missed & I hope you’ll make your return, or else I’ll make a return to my birth country and we’ll reconnect there.

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Slow ripples

Solitary boat

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Sun shines on Lake Tahoe

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worries lead to insomnia,

stress leads to worries,

procrastination leads to stress,

fear leads to procrastination,

fear (of failing) leads to perfectionism,

personality leads to fear of failing,

upbringing leads to fear of failing,

conditioning leads to fear of failing,

biology leads to fear of failing,

fear exists at that vortex where nature and nurture met each other happily,

all of this leads to that charcoal black hole called depression,

depression leads to suicidal ideations,

suicidal ideations lead to fantasies of escape (and nowhere else),

Unconditional acceptance from you brings me back to facing my fears,

facing my fears allows me to stop hiding,

to Be.

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